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When my oldest child was about a month old, I wrote the following and posted it on Facebook. I am preserving it here for posterity. Now I have three children and yet somehow it’s still easier to get out the door than it was when I had ONE colicky newborn!
How to Get Ready for Church with Two Adults:
- Wake up one hour before leaving.
- Get ready.
- Eat a quick breakfast.
- Leave, arriving just as church begins
How to Get Ready for Church with Two Adults and One Baby:
- Wake up at 5:00.
- Change baby’s diaper.
- Feed the baby.
- Console baby, who thinks it is time to be up for the day. Explain that while we appreciate his enthusiasm, it is not necessary to get ready to leave three hours in advance. Baby is unimpressed.
- Accept that baby is up for the day. Continue consoling him. Start a load of laundry, which makes him happy. He likes the noise.
- Begin getting yourself ready for church while your husband consoles the baby.
- Baby starts crying again. Hurry to finish so you can feed him again.
- He doesn’t actually want to eat. False alarm.
- But you want to eat, so you hurriedly prepare some breakfast.
- Baby cries. Drop the breakfast prep and end up with food on your clothes. After a few minutes of soothing, realize that your pre-baby alarm has been going off for a while.
- Change baby’s diaper. Dress baby in his church clothes. Pray that they will still look nice when we get to church.
- Feed the baby, who is actually hungry now.
- Baby falls asleep.
- Marvel at how people with multiple children manage to leave the house at all.
It’s Sunday. And we’re going to church.